Mothers, mid-1980's

This is another "essay" that my children found recently. Before publishing it, I would like to go on record as saying it simply reflected my thoughts on a particularly frustrating day in 1986 or '87. I love my mother very much, and probably the reason my children laughed so hysterically when they read this is because I'm more like her than I would like to admit! Here it is:

There is something so contradictory about mothers. For example, mine adores her family, but we don't know why, because none of us has ever done anything right. No matter what it is, or how it turns out, her initial reaction is negative. The only thing I ever did that won her immediate approval was give birth. I was so happy to find something she approved of, I did it three times. It's not only the big things, it's every little decision. But you would think Mom and I could at least go to the grocery store together after all these years. Wrong!!

On a recent visit, my mother offered to babysit while I went to the grocery store, but the children wanted to go, so we decided we would all go. Mom offered to sit in the car with the kids, but they would have none of that either. So in we all went. The first stop was eggs. I picked up a carton of large eggs and moved calmly down the aisle. Mom was still at the egg display, so I went back to see what the problem was.

"Medium eggs are 20 cents cheaper than large" she said, "so they are a much better buy."

"But I always use large, extra large, or jumbo, Mom. Mike likes the bigger sizes for his breakfast, and I prefer them for baking."

"Well, I would rather eat a medium egg myself, and when they are so much cheaper, it just makes sense to use them."

"Okay Mom (anything to keep the peace), I'll get the medium ones." Well, that did it. She had won, and it was open season on daughters. I had to explain why I bought liquid detergent instead of dry; why I chose a small package of disposable diapers instead of the large; why I wanted name-brand garbage bags instead of store-brand; in fact, almost everything I put in my cart. Now, I was the one paying for these things, and you would think a mother would let her 32-year-old daughter buy groceries without questioning every purchase. After all, we're both adults, right? But that's okay, I had the last word, when on the way out I picked up a box of the latest ice cream craze, Bon Bons!