When my daughter called to say she had been sent from her doctor's appointment to the hospital 3 weeks early, I was making a presentation to the school board. When she told me labor was to be induced the next day because of her high blood pressure, I packed a suitcase and left the next morning to drive to the hospital - 13 hours away. Jack was born on November 15, and I stayed to help Elizabeth through Thanksgiving, when my husband flew up, and we drove back together that weekend.
We went back just before New Year's, then again in April, for Easter weekend. Elizabeth and Jack flew down for a visit in June, then we went to Rochester for Jack's baptism in July. Elizabeth, Jack, and Mason made a surprise visit to us in August, and then we didn't see them again until December. Elizabeth and Jack flew down on the 22nd, and Mason joined us on the 26th. So, in the first year of Jack's life we had a total of 6 visits, from 3 days to about a week each time.
Now there's another baby on the way, and how I wish we lived close enough for me to stop by on my way home from work and pick up Jack to give Elizabeth a few hours of rest time. Or close enough to drive over on a Saturday and take him to the park. But the reality is, that's never going to happen. Jack's daddy is in the Marine Corps, and he's never going to be stationed in Murfreesboro, or even within a couple of hours' driving distance from here.
So, the challenge is building a relationship with a child who lives so far away. Children learn to know and trust and love the people they see every day. One day when Jack is old enough, he will understand that his grandparents are people who love him, even though he doesn't see them every day. Until then, I just have to make as many opportunities as possible to see him and talk to him, and do what I can to help Elizabeth from here.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Temporary Home
Carrie Underwood's new release "Temporary Home" is a beautiful song. The video is even more touching. And I saw an interview in which Carrie said she doesn't see it as a sad song, she sees it as hopeful.
The song contains three stories - a foster child, a homeless, jobless single mother with a daughter, and an old man on the verge of death. Each of these stories hits home with me, as I suspect they do with many people.
As the homeless liaison for our school system, it's my mission to find and help the children in the first two stories. Children who are "awaiting foster care placement" are considered homeless under federal law. Each state is allowed to define "awaiting foster care placement" and the state of Tennessee has not defined it. That leaves it up to the homeless liaison to determine what it means. As a general rule, I consider children in foster care to qualify for services when they come into custody or when they experience a change in placement, as with the little boy in the song.
Single mothers and their children make up a large percentage of homeless families. Domestic violence is one of the primary causes. Others include divorce, failure to pay child support, drug or alcohol abuse or addiction, incarceration, and the list goes on and on. We need more ways to help single parent families, whether the parent is female or male. Educational opportunities, child care, and affordable health insurance are crucial to enable these parents to take care of their children.
The third story in the song hits even closer to home. I'm lucky to still have both parents living. although we all know that can't last forever. For all of us, earth is truly our temporary home.
The song contains three stories - a foster child, a homeless, jobless single mother with a daughter, and an old man on the verge of death. Each of these stories hits home with me, as I suspect they do with many people.
As the homeless liaison for our school system, it's my mission to find and help the children in the first two stories. Children who are "awaiting foster care placement" are considered homeless under federal law. Each state is allowed to define "awaiting foster care placement" and the state of Tennessee has not defined it. That leaves it up to the homeless liaison to determine what it means. As a general rule, I consider children in foster care to qualify for services when they come into custody or when they experience a change in placement, as with the little boy in the song.
Single mothers and their children make up a large percentage of homeless families. Domestic violence is one of the primary causes. Others include divorce, failure to pay child support, drug or alcohol abuse or addiction, incarceration, and the list goes on and on. We need more ways to help single parent families, whether the parent is female or male. Educational opportunities, child care, and affordable health insurance are crucial to enable these parents to take care of their children.
The third story in the song hits even closer to home. I'm lucky to still have both parents living. although we all know that can't last forever. For all of us, earth is truly our temporary home.
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